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| Nobody’s around except the basement, And the trap sets and the feeling that you’re leaving. That it’s not much worth believing. Nobody is here, so I guessed it- that you left me. And to stay here just gets harder, and the pain makes you try farther. It's nothing left of what was sacred. If there was I’m sure we’d break it 'cause that’s just the way we are man. And it’s far to late to change it. And the places, and the vases, and the flowers cut to fit them. Hey I’m sorry I didn’t notice, tried to tell you I wouldn’t notice. And on and on with the ones left behind. But where do you feel at home? Thats for you to decide- and everything you said. (You’re all the same) It’s all I ever thought it was. (You’re all the same) It’s all this time just all there was. (You’re all the same) That’s all there is (there is , there is). And everything I’ve tried to say. (you're all the same) And all you want is to go away. (You’re all the same) I’ll wait here but your not here. Forget, forget, forget.. (You’re all the same) Nobody is home so I guess I’ll start pretending. And the air keeps getting colder, and my friends keep getting older. And I know you knew the answer- it grew inside you like a cancer Try to stop it, make it leave you, but it won’t and that’s what scares you. And I know it's not forever. Trying so hard to be clever. I never wanted this to happen. Why the hell'd this have to happen? And you left me, like you always said you wouldn’t.. But you did it and I knew it- it has to happen. Ever since you turned into them- And on and off with the ones left behind. And where do you feel at home? Thats for you to decide and everything you said? (off to shame) I never should have bought it... it always comes back to this song.
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| Winter, I don't mean to be forward, but I fucking love you.
Cold weather equals:
electric blanket,
blankets in general,
cuddling while watching shitty cable, because outside it is too cold outside,
whiskey tastes better, I promise,
the possibility of snow,
the leaves changing,
pretend smoking with your breath,
the ground gets crunchy, which is the only entertainment I have when I'm on campus,
cosby sweaters for boceifus,
I seem to have more adventures at night, which I like,
scarves, jackets, and boots!
Oh my lord, the boots. My education classes are blowing my mind everyday.
Sometimes my face gets stuck in a twisted "huh" look,
talk about a work overload.
Sorry children, you won't be spared the wrath of Ms. Mullins, for I am fighter!
I keep dreaming that our house is on a sink hole, thanks to geology class.
Math concepts doesn't necessarily help my math skills or lack there of.
Volleyball has bruised up my knees pretty hard, but it reminds me of my highschool days.
I dropped out of Social Dance, the teacher made one same-sex dance partners joke,
(because there aren't enough boys to girls in the class)
and people automatically assumed I was the scary lessssssssbo.
Story of my life. Joe's car got hit on halloween by a deer...
for those who know me, I really don't have to elaborate on my fear of those woodland creatures.
I had a wonderful halloween after that incident.
Going to Dallas soon for the pistons and paint, second time!
Hopefully we will get as plastered with love, burritos, and booze as we did last year.
Going to Colorado for christmas with my family, first time!
I have a fear of head injury, but, oh well.
Joe and I will be dating for three years in December, that man. There are people that used to be a big part of me...
Good feelings are still there, but I don't see them as much.
I always have a feeling/fear that I'm "too much" of this certain attribute to hang out with them anymore.
I might overwhelm, disgust, scare, or disappoint those people.
It seems like I never have enough time in the day to sit down and have a conversation.
Catching up is all I ever seem to do, I hate it.
I used to sit in one place for hours and talk,
or sit and write.
I miss writing.
I want to be involved with what is going on there/here/with people now.
I still love working at the hotel, though sometimes I feel like I suck a lot more proverbial dick than I should.
I think that comes with every minimum wage job anyone has ever had, though.
I get to meet all walks of life and put em' to bed, I don't mind it. Damnit, all I want is to keep a hobby, project, decoupage and FINISH IT.
I have scraps of things stuffed in a drawer.
It is the most depressing thing I have ever seen.
I need a hug.
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| I smell like lavender bleach and my house is clean.
I mean, really really clean.
I like staying at my house, the outside world is too bright and stupid, literally.
I am making a button self-portrait for someone...you know who you are.
I am planning a trip to Eureka Springs, that place makes me feel satisfied.
I am really enjoying school and all of my classes.
I am going to be able to out dance you all because I'm enrolled in social dance, TANGO HERE I COME!
I did get poison ivy on my legs and my right hand, it has been a strange experience.
I have found a lot of ways to itch my hand on things.
I need some books to read, I have a very fun collection if anyone is interested in trading?
I have to steam the carpets one more time.
hur. hur.
My other car is a spaceship...
staring out from the library window
The pictures of girlfriend’s taped to the windshields of the cars
That sit in the back lot
There's nothing you can do no matter how hard she tries
It won't take long for her new friends to realize what a bitch
That you are
Staring out from the library window
The roar of the engines
Feeding the egos of the perched up top on the cars
How could she notice
Not that I'm standing where I'm sorry
If I've been demanding a lot
From you lately
Stop before I get to far
Stop before I start the car
Running to the bar with all your cash
Think about all your friends
Anyway they haven't left you yet
They will
It won't take long
But that's just how it is
Why'd you lie to me
You always lie to me
You had to lie to me
So why'd you lie to
You always lie to me
The bitch she lies to me
You always lie to me
You had to lie to
To Me
Because you are just a slug infected
With all the things
That I injected into your veins
When you're asleep
Staring out on the ledge of the window
The roar of the crowd has gathered below to collect
My bruised and battered soul
Why did you choose movie stars
Caviar and fancy cars
Taking aside in the parade
Just think about all the ones
That ever even helped you out
Well they’re gone
But that's alright
Because you just wanted out
Why’d you lie to me
You always lie to me
You had to lie to me
The bitch she lies to me
You always lied to me
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| I singed my bangs on my gas stove, I didn't really need that cigarette.
I am having a fit of insomnia from high school.
I am watching the Nanny and only thinking of gold grandma keds.
Got the poison ivy boyfriend in bed, he doesn't have to wear socks 'cause I'm not allergic.
Did they, do they, really lift pianos into apartments through windows?
I wish I wasn't scared of carbon monoxide leaks so I could bake in my oven.
I wish the people who wrote my favorite web comics were my real friends.
Dear Fresh Prince,
marry me.
I think Jerry Lewis had some moral standards he was too afraid to share, his balls were not great or on fire.
Three movies on netflix I am excited about: mannequin, the point, the weird Al show.
A movie preview I tear up to every time I see it on our new basic cable, The Time Traveler's Wife.
I need to learn Spanish not only for being a teacher, but so I can understand Spanish channels soap operas.
Hans Christian Ørsted was born today, known for discovering that electric currents can create magnetic fields.
I'm going to bed, I am delirious.
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| So the other day, I was sitting at the pdq listening to an old lady tell a story
about deterring thugs, that apparently wanted to rob the gas station,
with her NRA hat and zipped up wind suit jacket, with her left hand strategically placed.
So the other day, I was driving my green terror and I was followed by an angry elderly couple
that sat and honked at me in front of my house until I pretended to charge their car like an angry bull, and gave them the finger.
So the other day, I had a long conversation at the hotel with a black man, who reminded me of bill cosby, who loves cat fish so much,
he'd sell his crossed eyed grandma and not feel a bit of remorse.
So the other day, I discovered that tuna salad hot dogs make me sick.
So the other day, I realized that I can't do a handstand anymore.
So the other day, I was so bored I decided, I could probably, if I tried hard enough, swallow swords.
So the other day, I went to the doctor and found out I had lockjaw from grinding my teeth.
So the other day, I have never conquered the art of blowing smoke rings.
So the other day, I decided that I'm done.
School is almost over, Joe graduates in may, I graduate may 2011, I miss my cat, I miss spending more time at the park, I miss having a car, I like wearing a bandana to sleep, I liked cappuccino coolers, I like having a garage, I love my second graders, I have decided to leave this weekend, I've had too much coffee. | | |
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